Tuesday 27 January 2015

Red with rage

"Sri Krishna said: O Arjuna, There are three gates leading to the hell — Lust, Anger and Greed. Every sane man should give these up, for they lead to the degradation of the Soul."

"Sri Krishna said: O Arjuna, One develops attachment for the sense objects by thinking about the sense objects. Desire for sense objects comes from attachment to them, and anger comes from unfulfilled desires."

"Sri Krishna said: O Arjuna, Delusion or wild idea arises from anger. The mind is bewildered by delusion. Reasoning is destroyed when the mind is bewildered. One falls down from the right path when reasoning is destroyed."

"Sri Krishna said: O Arjuna, Those who are free from anger and all material desires, who are self-realized, self-disciplined and constantly endeavoring for perfection, are assured of liberation in the God in the very near future."

"Sri Krishna said: O Arjuna, Pride, arrogance, conceit, anger, harshness and ignorance—these qualities belong to those people who are of demoniac nature."

This is what the Bhagwad Gita says on "anger".

It is but rational that every human being falls into the anger trap. And I am no exception. I admit that some of it is inherited from paternal genes. As one grows up especially when the euphoria of adolescence embraces delirium all worldly sense gets derailed. With the budding of youth, life is at the crossroads - awkward and riotous. The booby trap of anger is cavernous enough for a free flat fall. Realisation of rationale dawns at a time when you find yourself to have missed the bus long gone. You mellow down to a life not cherished with acquiescence.
 
Is flushed with rage worth? Over the years with age beckoning maturity, I realised my physical strength dissipated at a horrendous speed after a deadly brawl sucked in rage. That left me spiritless for days together and clueless when conducting activities that needed utmost zeal. I even lost my appetite for food and roamed around the house in unkempt hair. Surprisingly my lips got sealed for hours right after the raging episode. What sapped me most was lack of concentration on any book I read or any activity I carried out that needed mental vigour. I acted silly, taking stride of my pride hurt, exaggerating on an imaginary victimhood. Eventually I got myself doused in depression.
 
Now when I turn my thoughts to those volatile fuming episodes I find them utterly capricious and graceless. That was certainly not me. No oddity in guessing your instincts correct once smitten.            
 
As changing seasons caress and make love to the nature regaling her with a sense and spirit so do age and actions leave man, from buoyant youth to maturing grey, in bare introspection. I consulted my family doctor - the first steps were embarrassing but the next ones were easy. Speaking out helped. At every time I became angry at the behest of someone else's actions or words I started writing down in my diary: what was the issue, the settings that made things go wrong, what was my stance and continued inventing words and lines on paper until I found the tide inside me ebbing. On top of it my love for travel acted as a fillip in rejuvenating my senses. Long walks to the nearby gardens or the city library and lakes, bookshops and bistros, spa and salon brought back the laughter in my life.

To me travelling and reading, the dear choices I have made in this life, conditions the frail nerves a lot. I have observed and felt strongly that on many a passages, while meeting strangers and re-living their established routines that are in no ways different from what I travel through, my resilience to endure the tests of time take roots that are profound; bit by bit etching into my anger and arrogance, pride and parsimony and sulk and suspicion.

"Travel makes one modest, you see what a tiny place you occupy in the world" - Gustave Flaubert.    

I also know people who enjoys cooking or swimming or watering flowered pots or shaking a leg when their blood boils. Trust me these pills act perfect.

It is easy to address but hard to act. Anger is such a demonic constraint in our everyday lives, accentuated in cities and corporate spheres that can harm not only a man's senses but also pollute a soul. With my own experiments I have found that forgiveness ushers humility to one's character. Anger in a way is weighty in nature. One cannot do away with burdens overnight but only with patience and perseverance. In many cases I still have miles to walk and really unsure of the extent of chagrin within when life throws the gamble at you - there are no definite solutions or thumb rule to follow. To remain calm inside is a hard choice to make but we have to adapt and adhere to it strongly. Yoga and meditation, as in detoxifying agents, swab a handful of mental clog.

The outward manifestation of cheer, through physical journeys to distant lands or mental journeys through the pages of a book, is but an inward reflection of a mind, body and soul in contemplation. Dag Hammarskjold justly said that "The longest journey of any person is the journey inward."
 

No comments:

Post a Comment